I'm not good at blogging, but decided it was time to blog again. Someone told me some time ago that they were interested in my God story. So well, here is part of it. I started my personal relationship with God in the 5th Grade. I remember that night and when I went to bed, I had so much peace. 5th grade was a really rough year for me so having that peace that night really meant alot. Lots happened between that day and some time a couple of years ago when I prayed the prayer to God that I wanted to know the Truth. Not what I had been taught was the truth, but I wanted God to show me Truth. I didn't realize it at the time, but that was a powerful prayer. God has taught me so much in the past two years. Some of it is still between me and God, but some of it I can share. One thing, is that God began to reveal to me that I believed some lies about myself. First lie, I believed I was a failure. It was revealed to me that I subconsciously told myself throughout they day that I was failing. If I saw the dishes in the sink, I would think if I was better, those would be done. Dirty house, if I was better, it would be clean. Laundry, if I better used my time, it would be done. I told myself constantly that I was failing. I remember the day, I realized that I did this. I made a plan. The next time I saw the pile of laundry, I would say," Look how full my life is that I have all this laundry and how much fuller is my life that I am so busy with my life that I don't have time to do it" You get the idea. I have kids and a husband and a full life. So much love fills my life that I don't have time to do the laundry, dishes, etc. Don't get me wrong, I do laundry and dishes, but when I see they need done, I don't tell myself if you were better those would be done. This was huge for me. I am not a failure!!!
But God wasn't done, He soon revealed that I believed I was an inconvenience. This lead to alot of agruements with my husband. I believed what I wanted wasn't important to other people. I put this belief on my husband and treated him like it was true. Boy would we argue. Yes, I remember the night this came to a head and I remember, when I realized I believed I was an inconvenience. And then I remember, when I realized it wasn't true. I'm not an inconvenience. I'm important and people really do like me.
Realizing that I'm not an inconvenience nor a failure, well that changed my life. As with any lesson we learn, sometimes I have to remember this.
God has also taught me other things. I've learned lessons about the 10 commandments, the Sabbath and that God is all about relationships. Mine and God's relationship and relationships with other people.
I'm so excited that God is still teaching me truth.
Whalen Family
A Picture of a Miracle Designed by God
Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Testimony. Show all posts
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Friday, October 15, 2010
My Journey
So I am going to try and write a mini testimony of the spiritual and emotional journey I have been on. I have been thinking about this for awhile but am still unsure where to begin.
I married my husband 15 years ago. We were excited about adult life and beginning the American dream; however, life didn't allow that. We were infertile! Such a small sentence so full of so much pain. It is so simple to write but represents so much. I remember that day we got the call. The desperation that yes we had problems, but hope, it was treatable. But are bodies did not respond to the treatment. We both felt stupid and less than everybody else. We definetly saw the unfair side of life. Why can they have kids but we can't? My husband once described it as our child died every month. I in no way mean to equate our pain with the pain of losing a child one has loved, but it goes to describe how we felt. We didn't amount to as much as everybody else. The house was so quite. All our dreams were crashing and it HURT SO MUCH! We would have to avoid mother's day and father's day. We would just not go to church that Sunday. And as our brother and sister began to have children, well, we could barely go on. We were so desperate we actually started plans to move to Hawaii. If we couldn't have kids, we didn't want to live in our house or Cincinnati where we were constantly reminded of the dream we had planned. I open this door to our pain to share with you that in this time, I learned what it was to be comforted by God without getting what you want. I remember feeling like He was wrapping His arms around me. I remember getting the strength to get through that day or that moment. It wasn't pretty, but so many times since then I am comforted by the fact that I know God can comfort me. We are amazing people for having lived through that and survived to the wonderful people we are today. We aren't amazing- God is! It is a testimony to His amazing love, strength and comfort. I plan to post more of my journey later, but for now I leave you with verses from Psalm 91 which was so precious to me during this time of infertily.
Psalm 91:
He who rests in the shadow of the Most High God will be kept safe by the Mighty One. I will say about the Lord, He is my place of safety. He is like a fort to me. He is my God. I trust in Him. He will certainly save you from hidden traps and from deadly sickness. He will cover you with his wings. Under the feathers of his wings you will find safety. He is faithful. He will keep you safe like a shield or a tower. You won't have to be afraid of the terrors that come during the night. You won't have to fear the arrows that come at you during the day. You won't have to be afraid of the sickness that attacks in the darkness. You won't have to fear the plague that destroys at noon.
A thousand may fall dead at your side, Ten thousand may fall near you right hand. BUT no harm will come to you..... The Lord is the one who keeps you safe. So let the Most High God be like a home to you..... The Lord will command his angels to take good care of you. They will lift you up in their hands. Then you won't trip over a stone.......
The LORD says, I will save the one who loves me. I will keep him safe, because he trusts in me. He will call out to me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in time of trouble( This is so true) I will save him and honor him. I will give him a long and full life. I will save him.
I married my husband 15 years ago. We were excited about adult life and beginning the American dream; however, life didn't allow that. We were infertile! Such a small sentence so full of so much pain. It is so simple to write but represents so much. I remember that day we got the call. The desperation that yes we had problems, but hope, it was treatable. But are bodies did not respond to the treatment. We both felt stupid and less than everybody else. We definetly saw the unfair side of life. Why can they have kids but we can't? My husband once described it as our child died every month. I in no way mean to equate our pain with the pain of losing a child one has loved, but it goes to describe how we felt. We didn't amount to as much as everybody else. The house was so quite. All our dreams were crashing and it HURT SO MUCH! We would have to avoid mother's day and father's day. We would just not go to church that Sunday. And as our brother and sister began to have children, well, we could barely go on. We were so desperate we actually started plans to move to Hawaii. If we couldn't have kids, we didn't want to live in our house or Cincinnati where we were constantly reminded of the dream we had planned. I open this door to our pain to share with you that in this time, I learned what it was to be comforted by God without getting what you want. I remember feeling like He was wrapping His arms around me. I remember getting the strength to get through that day or that moment. It wasn't pretty, but so many times since then I am comforted by the fact that I know God can comfort me. We are amazing people for having lived through that and survived to the wonderful people we are today. We aren't amazing- God is! It is a testimony to His amazing love, strength and comfort. I plan to post more of my journey later, but for now I leave you with verses from Psalm 91 which was so precious to me during this time of infertily.
Psalm 91:
He who rests in the shadow of the Most High God will be kept safe by the Mighty One. I will say about the Lord, He is my place of safety. He is like a fort to me. He is my God. I trust in Him. He will certainly save you from hidden traps and from deadly sickness. He will cover you with his wings. Under the feathers of his wings you will find safety. He is faithful. He will keep you safe like a shield or a tower. You won't have to be afraid of the terrors that come during the night. You won't have to fear the arrows that come at you during the day. You won't have to be afraid of the sickness that attacks in the darkness. You won't have to fear the plague that destroys at noon.
A thousand may fall dead at your side, Ten thousand may fall near you right hand. BUT no harm will come to you..... The Lord is the one who keeps you safe. So let the Most High God be like a home to you..... The Lord will command his angels to take good care of you. They will lift you up in their hands. Then you won't trip over a stone.......
The LORD says, I will save the one who loves me. I will keep him safe, because he trusts in me. He will call out to me, and I will answer him. I will be with him in time of trouble( This is so true) I will save him and honor him. I will give him a long and full life. I will save him.
I will Rest in the Place of the Most High
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