Relationships

Today, I'm feeling blue. I wonder how many people around me feel blue? How many of us walk through this life feeling so alone and wishing we had someone to share stuff with and yet we never reach out to each other? We stay in our box, all alone. We feel afraid that if we let others know how sad we are we will look pathetic. It is true, we humans, don't like to see people in pain. We just want happiness. Maybe we have so much pain of our own that taking on someone else's pain is just too much. But isn't pain lessened when we share it? I know for me it is. When I get to spend some time with a friend and just talk, I feel so much better. I can handle life's pressures and disappointments with a much more upbeat attitude, with a smile and contentment. This leads me to think, I was not created by God to be alone. I was created to have relationships. Oh, there is that word again. This word 'relationship' has been popping up in my life over the past year. I'm learning how very important it is. First, there is my relationship with God. I'm on a journey to understand God's Love for me. What does it mean to be loved by God? What is it to live and rest in God's love? How does that feel? What is it to be at Peace in the Love of God? What would it be like to truly believe, I do not have to perform to be accepted? My head understands all of this and believes it. I was taught it and I'm still taught it and as I stated I believe it. But when it comes to the heart and being honest, I don't live this. My heart doubts that God loves me no matter what. Now, please don't judge me for this. Honestly ask yourself, does your heart truly believe it? If you can answer yes, then I'm going to say that probably there was a point when you were brave enough to ask these same questions or similar questions and God lead you to your point of belief. I am actually excited. Because I do have enough trust in God to know that one day He will lead me to this point also.  Secondly, there is my relationship with other people. I need friends around me. People around me need me. Though I pause at this because until I trust love or the Source of love, I don't think my relationship with people around me can fulfill me or take away my blues. I need God to be my best friend and then other relationships can add to my fullness. I can't wait until I'm at that point in my life where without a doubt I can rest in love.

If you read this, thanks for taking time out of your day and I hope it directs you to seek the Source of  Love.

Stephanie